I go a little crazy in January

every year it’s the same

I blame SAD, but I really don’t know

why I fuckin’ hate it so!


The claustrophobic sky just won’t

give up it’s blue,

only fuckin’ grey will  do

in this godforsaken month.


And i feel that every aspect of

my life is shit and not worth squat

and i fight the urge to bolt from it,

from you.


And part of me feels January

is the month of revelation.

The rest of the year an illusory

trashy paperback stack

of lies.

Then January arrives

with a truth, that’s hard to deny.


I’m fuckin’ counting the days until you are gone,



I can do without your cruel candour,

your honest bullshit.

Let me live in blue skies,

in fragrant daze,

and the solace of lies










It waits at the end of dread,

that path I tread

each year.

and each year I said

I would no longer dread.

That I’d give it a miss

I’d no longer kiss under that parasitic branch.

Yet here I stand,

puckering up

with a fear in my gut

that my life is a sham,

that all that I am

for the rest of the year

is a careful facade

for although I try hard

I always end up

in line with the rest

of the herd

and at best

I’ll utter a protest

an unheard request

that we pass it by,

but a lovers sigh

is hard to deny.

and so at the Plain of Lethe

I arrive

born again, renewed,


to traverse the year

oblivious to

the ineluctable path

that will lead me

to you.











2016 in Books

This year I failed to complete my Goodreads target of 40 books. Having said that I read some mighty long books this year so I’m not going to beat myself up about it!

Here is this years list in full

This year I read a lot of old titles. Some were beloved favourites from childhood (Earthsea) others were books that I finally got round to picking up again after a hiatus of over 20 years! (The Dark Tower series) but I also found some fabulous new (to me) authors that I’d heard rumour of but hadn’t got round to seeking out. I’m so glad I did that this year because I feel I’ve found a real  new favourite in China Mieville, and I also intend to read more Richard Morgan and Ken liu.

Here are my winners and losers of this years challenge

Favourite read: Perdido Street Station – China Mieville.  Very reminiscent of Mervyn Peak in his vivid descriptions of the intricate architecture of his strange worlds. Wonderfully flawed heroes, strange new species to discover. Can’t wait to read more!

Disappointed By: The Magicians – Lev Grossman. Uninteresting characters, predictable plot. Not for me.

Pleasant Surprise: Sorcerer of The WildeepsKai Ashante Wilson. This title popped up in a Facebook post from Tor Books  as a free download from their website. Absolutely fell in love with the main protagonist Demane. Will definitely be reading more of this author in the future.

Made me Cry Snot: The Book Thief- Marcus Zusak. Have had this book for several years (I think it was actually bought for my daughter) and only got round to reading it this year. Simple, powerful storytelling.

Best revisited: The Earthsea Trilogy – Ursula K LeGuin  I know that there are more books to the series but when I first read about the wonderful Ged in 1979 there were only three, and it was this memory that I wanted to re visit. I have these books to thank for my love of fantasy but also for the high standards I set myself when choosing a book from this genre. Le Guin is proof positive that you don’t need to write thousands of pages to tell a compelling story or to create rounded characters who we care about. A true masterpiece.

Most Bored by and nearly gave up on: Rivers of London – Ben Aaronvitch. I can imagine this as a fairly pleasant TV series but as a book it didn’t work for me as I didn’t think the writing was up to scratch.

Everyone should read: Freedom From The Known – Jiddu Krishnamurti – We live in troubled times. Civilization seems on the brink of disaster. The only way we can prevent this is to change what we believe it is to be civilized. We can only begin to do this by first looking within ourselves.

Seeing me into 2017: The Scar – China Mieville. I intend to read everything he has written by the end of this year!

Wishing You Many Happy Reads for 2017!


Your breath on my neck catches a strand of hair,

butterfly wings against my skin.

Your arm, heavy against my chest

Like a secret.

Your hand lightly cups my shoulder,

Fingers flicker like flames

As you begin to drift.

My arm against your belly

As we rise and fall.

For a moment we are in synch,

I  hold on to a pleasure

that slowly recedes,

Our breath separates

and we continue on alone.




My Year in Books

So this year I decided to use Goodreads to set myself a reading challenge as I felt that I was getting distracted by the internet way too much and that my reading was suffering.

Here’s the list in full.

Quite an eclectic bunch of titles I think. Some are novels I’ve always wanted to read but hadn’t got round to (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sleep, American Gods), some were bought on a whim with the supermarket shop (The Minaturist, All The Light That We Cannot See) and others  have been continually brought to my attention over the years as “must reads” (The Alchemist). Some were free Kindle books that I read on holiday (80 Days Around the World, The War of The Worlds) and others were found whilst shelf tidying (I work in a library) and I’d either heard good things about or was intrigued by the blurb (Gormenghast, Farmegeddon)

Here are the winners and losers of this years challenge, in my opinion of course!

Favourite Read (even though it’s book 2 of a trilogy but didn’t know until a few chapters in!)

Gormenghast – Mervyn Peake

Disappointed by:

The Alchemist – Paul Coelho

Pleasant Surprise:

All the Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doerr

Made me laugh out Loud:

How To Build a Girl – Caitlin Moran

Best re visited:

Reaper Man – Terry Pratchett (RIP TERRY)

Author I will not be reading more of in a hurry:

Haruki Murakami – Norwegian Wood

Everyone Should Read:

Farmageddon – Philip Lymbery & Isabel Oakeshott

Seeing me into 2016:

The shark and The albatross – John Aitchison